Can Anyone Relate?

I have been for at least 20 years, when I quit drugs and my crazy lifestyle! God is awesome and has done many things in my life. Great husband, four wonderful healthy kids, and never have gone without a thing! So why am I so depressed!!! Why can’t I be thankful and grateful for everything and stay happy?? I have lost my fire, my spark, I feel like I am so selfish and not doing a thing for the Lord! Drained and unmotivated! I hate this, I hate when I get like this. I feel so bad for my hubby having to put up with me. I am not like this very often, but when I am, its bad.